Color Conscious

Before we began our adoption journey, I emailed Suzanne to ask her how she explained the differences in skin color to her children when they asked or to other children when they were curious. I know a lot of people say that children are "color blind" and I think that they mean well....It's just from my experience, I know that not to be true. It is human nature to notice differences in people whether it be skin color, hair color, weight, athletic abilities, and even in the Christian world....we will say, "That person sure spoke with annointing". Maybe I'm just shallow....who knows?

I know that as a teenager/young adult, I had never lived with anyone from another culture or skin color so I was very interested in asking lots of questions to two of my roommates in college (who had brown skin). I watched them do their hair (both very differently), wanted to touch their hair, learned about their culture, and we became really good friends (although D told me once I ask way to many questions and her family didn't get into each other's business like that.)

Going back to the plane flight to Ethiopia....Literally, there were only 8 white people on the flight and the entire flight was packed. The plane held about 300 people....Not only that, but most of the people were speaking in languages other than English. Honestly, I felt out of place.....I knew I was not in Tennessee anymore...I began to think of how I might be perceived in Ethiopian culture and read up on it b/c I wanted to be respectful....

Now that Justus has been home 7 months, he is beginning to ask a lot of questions and make a lot of statements. I think the first six months he was just trying to learn the language and process all the new things he was seeing. He is almost five though so he notices EVERYTHING and usually comments on it....He says I played with the "white" boy or that friend was "brown like me". Obviously, we don't talk like that at home. He is just saying what he sees. He told me yesterday that he wanted "white" hair like Spencer (even though Spencer's hair is dark blonde). I explained that he had black hair, Spencer has blonde, Natalie has brown, and Daddy had dark brown hair...We all have a different hair color. God made us that way (except I have to color mine to get mine blonde...but that's another story for another day). He has asked me why I'm white and how he is brown and I explain the best I can in 4 year old terms about how we have pigment in our skin that makes us different shades, but ultimately God created us all and he likes the way each of us looks.  He thinks we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I read him books that have children that look like him, we live in a neighborhood that is pretty diverse, and go to a diverse church.He is very interested in where his birthplace is so we show him on the map where Ethiopia is in relation to the United States. He will still spontaneously bust out in an Ethiopian dance and wants to listen to the music occasionally.....although now he likes Jamie Grace or Group 1 Crew....(Christian artists) music.

This is new to all of us in the family. We are all learning as we go. I have had people tell me at the Y in the pool that his mama needs to be standing with him...I have had to explain on more than one account, "I AM HIS MAMA!":) I'm sure there are times he wishes his mama looked like him. I try to understand. I just scoop him up and give him lots of kisses and the tickle bug takes over. I want him to feel loved no matter what and to feel comfortable being who he is!

Have a sunshiny yellow day!
Much Love,