Ok...so lately I've been second guessing myself....Do you ever do this?....Like I think...
Am I doing the right thing staying home?
Should I continue staying home after Justus enters kindergarten?
Am I giving each child what he/she needs?
How could I do that better?
Will I ever learn how to keep my house up (consistently...not crash and burn style where I go nuts and have everyone in clean mode and act like a crazy person till it's picked up)
Am I doing what God would want me to do?
How can I help the orphans and poor more?
I remember when I use to work.....I taught and I was busy with 20 little people in my classroom and I'd give it my all. I watched the lightbulb come on when they learned how to read or got new math concept, but often I'd be really tired when I got home and not always the best mama to my kids....I think about the job now that God has called me to....
How Justus' eyes light up when he writes the letter "s" correctly....How he asks me 50 million questions today and I'm able to answer 99% of them. How I can drive my kids to their different schools and pick them up, swing by the library to get Justus some new books, get some tires put on my van, get to loads of laundry done in the middle of doing these other things etc. etc.
I wonder some days, "Am I making a difference?". I'm only influencing those I live with. Then, I have people speak into my life....Yes, this is where God has me this season of my life. I really don't need to concern myself with what God's calling me to do in the future or next school year when it's clear what he has for me today. It has also been clear that God can use me to encourage our waitress at Waffle House or buy a newspaper from the homeless man, or shoot someone an email who I haven't talked to in a long time...
God is just good like that. I'm learning as I go through my gratitude journal, my heart is changing. My world has been rocked. I went to Ethiopia. I saw the need. My heart has been ripped a little. I want God to show me how I can help....MORE....
I'll be faithful and obedient for today to what He has called me to....
This has become really clear to me that God LOVES people. He's crazy about them whether they work in an office, teach at a university, in a field all day plowing with no machinery for $1 a day, live in the garbage dump, live in a mansion, you name it....I want to love more blindly....
Ever have these days?
With Much Love,
Am I doing the right thing staying home?
Should I continue staying home after Justus enters kindergarten?
Am I giving each child what he/she needs?
How could I do that better?
Will I ever learn how to keep my house up (consistently...not crash and burn style where I go nuts and have everyone in clean mode and act like a crazy person till it's picked up
Am I doing what God would want me to do?
How can I help the orphans and poor more?
I remember when I use to work.....I taught and I was busy with 20 little people in my classroom and I'd give it my all. I watched the lightbulb come on when they learned how to read or got new math concept, but often I'd be really tired when I got home and not always the best mama to my kids....I think about the job now that God has called me to....
How Justus' eyes light up when he writes the letter "s" correctly....How he asks me 50 million questions today and I'm able to answer 99% of them. How I can drive my kids to their different schools and pick them up, swing by the library to get Justus some new books, get some tires put on my van, get to loads of laundry done in the middle of doing these other things etc. etc.
I wonder some days, "Am I making a difference?". I'm only influencing those I live with. Then, I have people speak into my life....Yes, this is where God has me this season of my life. I really don't need to concern myself with what God's calling me to do in the future or next school year when it's clear what he has for me today. It has also been clear that God can use me to encourage our waitress at Waffle House or buy a newspaper from the homeless man, or shoot someone an email who I haven't talked to in a long time...
God is just good like that. I'm learning as I go through my gratitude journal, my heart is changing. My world has been rocked. I went to Ethiopia. I saw the need. My heart has been ripped a little. I want God to show me how I can help....MORE....
I'll be faithful and obedient for today to what He has called me to....
This has become really clear to me that God LOVES people. He's crazy about them whether they work in an office, teach at a university, in a field all day plowing with no machinery for $1 a day, live in the garbage dump, live in a mansion, you name it....I want to love more blindly....
Ever have these days?
With Much Love,
I do have these days...and you put into words much of what I feel. I love the "I'll be faithful and obedient for today..." I do think this is all God asks of us. I think it is awesome how He is using your son to change your heart.
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