We are home!

Hi everyone...I was going to post Day 4 before we left Ethiopia and it didn't work out. The internet connection was down for the day. Anyway, we had our meeting with Justus "D"'s birthmom and honestly Day 4 was exhausting emotionally. We all came back and had a nap.

We are now home. We arrived home Friday afternoon. We didn't have a big airport welcoming  b/c I knew Justus "D" would be overwhelmed (and possibly cry). We were all exhausted and thrilled to see mom, Natalie,and Spencer at the airport and go home. I missed home....A LOT.....I missed my big kids too......It's amazing how your kids can get on your nerves, but if you go away for 7 days.....ohhh....how it hurt my heart. I missed them like CRAZY!! I cried when I saw a text message from Spencer when the plane touched down.

We are "cocooning" right now. That means we have limited all outside activities and are pretty much just staying home with Justus "D". I'll be honest. It is HARD....He has suffered loss like we'll never know. It's going to take a long time to build that trust. It is crazy but the one thing I really desire right now is my time with God. I couldn't wait to slip away and go to church Sunday morning with Natalie and Spencer. My time by myself is extremely limited....like this current moment is the first time I've had time to myself in about 10 days.....(yes, I buried myself in the bathroom with my Jesus Calling book and a Bible.)

My emotions are all over the place. At one minute, I'm laughing at Justus "D" and thinking this was definately God's plan for our lives and glad we were obedient so we didn't miss out and the next minute I'm on the verge of tears at the drop of a hat.

Today, I'm choosing thankfulness. I'm thankful for Cris. I called her yesterday and she is a fellow adoptive mommy of two little boys...one of which was my son's age when they adopted. She has older kids too so we have a lot in common. She helped me have a reality check of all that Justus "D" has been through and how it helps to have low expectations in the beginning (of him and especially of myself). It was really encouraging to hear her say, "It's all normal and it'll get better. Parenting an internationally adopted child (especially an older child) goes against everything you know (and probably did with your bio kids). It's counter-intuitive." Sometimes, you just need a cheerleader or 20...haha...

I was thinking as I was rocking Justus for his nap today (a 4 year old takes up your entire lap.) realizing it is healthy to be doing this b/c he missed being rocked when he was a baby. I thought about how maybe God was enjoying all the praise songs I was singing as I was rocking him to sleep.

Even though I feel rejected over and over, I will choose love....Our new family is only 3 days old....It's gonna take time....

It was funny b/c the title for yesterday's message at church was "We're Going Through"....Then, today my quiet time was about God's peace and specifically these verses spoke to me and I must preface it with...I'm not at the "joy" part, but more the "persevering" part right now.

James 1:2-5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.

Without further adieu, I intoduce you to Justus Derero.....

We are still calling him "Derero" right now....That is his Ethiopian name....Please continue to pray for us and specifically that Derero will get on the Central time zone....His body is still 9 hours ahead so he's ready to get up at 1:00 am or 3:00 a.m...Hey! It was 2 hours later this morning, but I'm WO out!!

With Much Love,